02 Oct Fear Of Failure
Fear is one of those crazy emotions that is in everyone, but the level of fear we have is different according to our own experiences and what holds many people back from achieving more is fear. Fear of failure, fear of what others think and fear of what may or may not go wrong. The thing is all of these things aren’t the here and now. They are the past or future. You see when we worry about future events it can create a whole lot of unnecessary anxiety and stress and the honest cold hard truth is you don’t know whats going to happen and you can’t predict the future.
“So much of what we dream and desire is on the other side of that fear”
So given that stress is created when you focus on all the negative things that could go wrong, why not instead focus on all the great things that could go right?
Let me explain, for about 2 years I have dealt with tow vehicle issues, in that I have had a few scary roadside breakdowns with a horse in tow and that has created a lot of anxiety for me when towing. So now that I have a new tow vehicle, I still worry about getting to my destination, let alone what I actually do there. I was constantly picturing all the things that could go wrong and for a few months, I just had to get out and about to get over that, take little trips to destinations and retrain my brain to think about the whole experience in a different light. I had to think about what could go right, not what could go wrong. This wasn’t easy and you can’t just delete the negative, but through just doing it anyway despite the fear. More good soon outweigh the bad.
It doesn’t matter what you fear, maybe you have had a fall, maybe you fear competing or maybe you are fearing something else. Ask yourself am I trying to predict the future? Remind yourself that you can’t and instead of thinking about the negative things, focus on what could go right and focus on staying truly present in the here and now.
This isn’t something that happens right away, it’s a muscle that you strengthen and those fearful flashes will always turn up in your mind. But just like any muscle, you strengthen it by doing and by doing more and overcoming your fears you create self-confidence and gain more momentum towards your goals. The more you do this the more those fearful moments get drowned out and you don’t let them hold you back.
To begin with find those small goal posts that will help you get over your fears and help you move closer to your goals. Celebrate those small wins and keep working away on your path. Fear will always be there, but each time you notice it is holding you back from moving towards your goals, ask yourself instead how would it look if it went right?
We have to get uncomfortable to grow and we have to challenge ourselves to make improvements. Overcoming our fears is embracing that uncomfortable edge and in doing so it helps stretch us to get better and allows you to get closer to achieving what you want. So no matter where you are and what fears you are facing, first be kind to yourself and don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s, then remind yourself that you can’t predict anything so what is the point in being scared about something that hasn’t happened. Instead, focus on how great it would be if it all went perfectly and set appropriate goals that help you step towards where you want to be.
Life is for living and you can live a great life, so go out there and make that happen for yourself.